If you’re like me, you can speak two languages: English and Southern.

There’s a time and place for both. I’m gonna put it in percentages for you and help break it down in terms that we can all understand: English is to be used about 10% of the time; Southern is to be used about 110% of the time. Makes sense now, doesn’t it? Need a little more explanation? 

You see, English must be used around Northerners or some such folk who just don’t get us. However, you may take the Southerner out of the south, but you can’t take the south out of a Southerner. When you’re in the company of a non-Southerner, do your best to keep your vowels confined to the actual number of vowels in the word, but feel free to throw in a “y’all” every-once-in-a-while to help yourself feel more at home.

Here’s something else I do: when visiting my husband’s relatives in Kansas, I wear a t-shirt that says “Texas” on it. Although they may take offense to my advertising one of the best states in the south, it tends to help those around me understand my lingo a little better.